In a Legal Battleground With a Narcissist?

🎯save time, money, headache and heartache and get on with your life

READ OUR BLOG Watch Preview

Spin Divorce Mission:   To Give Healthy Parents the Tools to Avoid Post-Separation Abuse 

safety hint: 🛎 If you want to view this program on a safe browser:  it is recommended to download the DUCKDUCKGO app as it doesn't track your online activity. 🛎 


lesson image

Even a "Normal" Divorce is Hard:  The Narcissist Takes Divorce Challenges to a Whole New Level

Divorce is one of life’s most stressful events.   Dreams of a couple’s happy future together shattered and replaced with visits to matrimonial lawyers’ office and appearances before a judge. The Family Law system is complex, very expensive and time consuming.

When coupled with high conflict personalities and narcissistic tendencies, the obstacles that a person faces when divorcing such as custody battles, splitting of marital assets and calculation of support…. can feel insurmountable. These obstacles can take many years to unwind.

The spouse with narcissistic tendencies wants it this way.   They love the game. And yes, to them it is a game. A game they have intention to win.   This is why they routinely utilize tools that are designed to weaken you, so they can gain advantage. Many of these tactics are now recognized by the courts as "domestic violence" and although the abuser knows this, they also know that the courts often do not often use the tools they have at their disposal to combat these tactics.  So the high conflict personality continues.  Proceeding after proceeding in an increasingly number of families across the globe. 


lesson image 

What is Post-Separation Abuse

 Post-separation abuse is a series of events that occur when a marriage breaks down. These divorce “tactics” are universally applied by people with narcissistic tendencies to gain advantage or cause harm.

These frequently include

1. Using the courts to attempt to take full custody of children from the healthy parent and gain control of the decision making aspects of the child’s care.

2. Draining bank accounts and financially harming the healthy parent so that that the abuser can work their way through the courts unchecked.

3. Causing harm to the children, or failing to meet their needs.

4. Counter parenting (the opposite of co-operatively parenting)

5. Intimidation tactics such as threats, stalking and hacking.

6. Parent alienation accusations.

7. False Domestic Violence claims.

8. Filing false or Vexatious motions before the divorce courts to engage and control the healthy parent.  



lesson image

The Bad News

 

The courts, WHERE ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, are not equipped to handle the high-conflict narcissistic personality and many court professionals and judges lack education related to the damage these individuals cause…. Making the courts a costly and scary platform to engage with the abuser.

lesson image


 The Good News

 

Knowing the strategies, the narcissist is likely to employ, empowers the healthy parent to make choices that assist them in avoiding the pitfalls of the FAMILY COURT legal system.  

lesson image

The Court’s Mandate


 The court’s mandate in almost every country in the world, on paper, is to make decisions that are in the BEST INTEREST of the child, but this has been pushed aside and become secondary to the equal parenting.  This has created a legal battleground where healthy parents fight to protect their children and can get punished for doing so, if they employ the wrong strategies.  Heartbreakingly, even if they do employ all the RIGHT strategies, there is no guarantee that the healthy parent will be the primary custodial parent and/or the decision maker.     

But with knowledge and planning and understanding how the court's view court proceedings, your chance of having a better custodial outcome increase significantly.   

 

 

lesson image



***Disclaimer: I am not trained as a Family Lawyer and therefore I cannot give legal advice. I can offer coaching and share lessons learned that are based on my personal experience. Everyone's experience in family court and during divorce is unique and a cookie cutter approach cannot apply to the complexities of the Family Justice System. All information on this website is to be viewed from a coaching perspective. Due diligence and legal advice is the responsibility of the reader in all cases.

Courses in this Program:

Divorce Differently: When You’re Out of Patience, Money, and Time: Start Here

🔥 Divorce Differently: When You’re Out of Patience, Money, and Time — Start Here You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. And you’re absolu...

7 Lessons in this Course

Lessons in Divorce Differently: When You’re Out of Patience, Money, and Time: Start Here:

  1. 1 Lesson 1: Court Reality Check: What No One Tells You (but should)

    Objective: To expose the three most damaging myths women believe when entering family court — and replace them with truth, strategy, and clarity about how Ontario’s family court actually works. This lesson will give you a survivor’s-eye view of the system: who holds the power, what actually happens before trial, and why the truth alone won’t protect you. You’ll walk away with a sharper mindset, a clear map of the court’s structure, and the reason staying awake — not just represented — is your first act of self-protection.

  2. 2 Lesson 2: Why “Telling the Truth” Isn’t Enough in Family Court

    Objective: In this lesson, we’ll look at the three most important events in family court — case conferences, motions, and trials — and break down what each one is really for, how to prepare, and the common mistakes that can derail your case. Whether you're self-represented or working with a lawyer, understanding the purpose, tone, and expectations of each step will help you avoid overwhelm, show up strategically, and build the kind of credibility that courts take seriously.

  3. 3 Lesson 3: What Judges Expect From You — Credibility, Clarity, and Control

    Objective: Learn how to present yourself — through both your documents and demeanor — in a way that supports your credibility and integrity, even when the process feels overwhelming.

  4. 4 Lesson 4: Financial Disclosure — Why It Matters and How to Push for It

    Objective: Many women in difficult divorces weren’t allowed near the finances during the relationship. This lesson meets you there — without shame or overwhelm. You’ll learn why financial disclosure is the key to a fair outcome, what documents matter most, how to recognize stalling tactics, and how to begin asking the right questions with confidence. Whether you're just starting to understand your financial picture or ready to challenge misinformation, this lesson gives you the map

  5. 5 Lesson 5: Organize Like a Pro — Managing Paperwork and Deadlines

    Objective: Learn how to simplify your legal life with tools and habits that reduce overwhelm, build your confidence, and ensure nothing important slips through the cracks — from timelines to exhibits to court deadlines.

  6. 6 Lesson 6: The Real War is Internal — Mindset Over Evidence

    Objective: Learn how emotional patterns like fear, doubt, and self-sabotage can quietly weaken your position — and what you can do to mentally prepare for the challenges ahead with strength, focus, and clarity.

  7. 7 Lesson 7: From Pleaser to Strategist — Boundaries and Self-Trust in Court

    Objective: Learn how to shift from trying to keep the peace to protecting your power. This lesson shows you how to set firm boundaries with everyone involved — including your ex, your lawyer, and the system itself — so you can stop reacting and start making decisions from a place of strategy and self-trust.

About Lorraine

avatar-profile
LORRAINE LAWSON

Certified High Conflict Divorce Coach, Mother, Educator and Advocate
EMAIL: SPINDIVORCE@GMAIL.COM


Lorraine is a Certified High Conflict Divorce Coach and a warrior determined to educate and fight post-separation abuse.
Lorraine spent more than a decade in the family court system navigating the complexities of divorcing someone with high conflict tendencies.
When her journey began, she had no idea what a narcissist was. She didn’t yet understand how the narcissist weaponizes the family “Justice” system in order to gain advantage and control over their ex-spouse.
Having lost incredible amounts of time and money in the broken system and eventually learning to self-represent, she understands that family lawyer's lack tools to prevent and deal with post-separation abuse.
The key to navigating divorce with a narcissist is to be prepared, educated and to plan. Safeguarding is paramount to have a better outcome.
Whether you are trying to protect assets, reach a reasonable custody arrangement or trying to co-parent with a high conflict individual it is important to have knowledge of the quicksand of divorce and have tools to be able to not get caught in the games.
Lorraine understands that the narcissist often uses the same tools that abusers use when attempting to take control of the narrative inside the Family court.
She is on a mission to bring awareness to the tips and tricks that can be easily implemented to help take back control from the narcissist and to reach a better outcome. Although the outcome of the courts are never black and white, planning and preparing are the key elements of in getting through the system in a timely manner with more money in your pocket.
The narcissist is high-focused and a skilled manipulator. They have a target driven mandate to WIN. Everything. And they play a long game. But that does not mean they get to have their way.
Having a divorce coach can be the best investment in assisting you to plan your future from a place of empowerment and truth.
This investment can change the trajectory of your matter and set you on the path of success. Reach out today.

***Disclaimer: I am not trained as a Family Lawyer and therefore I cannot give legal advice. I can offer coaching and share lessons learned that are based on my personal experience. Everyone's experience in family court and during divorce is unique and a cookie cutter approach cannot apply to the complexities of the Family Justice System. All information on this website is to be viewed from a coaching perspective. Due diligence and legal advice is the responsibility of the reader in all cases.

READ OUR BLOG